| Mr. Mom |
| …he would have to be a nice guy again for a few weeks. He would not mention the fact of pressuring the pentagon and CIA to come up with false intelligence and say Kerry voted to go to war, not mentioning it was based on the false intelligence. Then he would.. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...continue to work on his tan (Dubya looked kinda "orangish" last night in an attempt to look healthy like Kerry and insiders considered this essential for image building.) Unfortunately, the Veep wasn't taking this very seriously and was concentrating on tanning the wrong parts of his body so the strategy might backfire. Nevertheless... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …he continued to spin the disaster plot that Carl had suggested. So instead of having to explain why the invasion was not meet with rose petals, Kerry would have to defend himself from their criticism. Edwards, being a slick trial lawyer, was going to…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...meet the challenge by introducing evidence that Cheney likes to dress up as Santa Claus and molest truck drivers at rest stops. He also... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..wanted to ask about a certain duck hunting trip. Next he would… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...dream of the day that he could push Dubya out of the way. That would... |
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|
| Mr. Mom |
| stop all the embarrassing moments with the Dubya he had to put up with. If only …. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the voters could get those "triumverate" images out of their minds Dubya and the Boyz might have a better chance. Unfortunately... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the younger voters didn’t understand the meaning of “tax break” or “death tax” yet, and so they displayed their tooshie in defiance of the current administration which only.. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...made Dubya's Re-election committee even more resolute to capturing the youth vote. Assembling a crack team of experts in the ways of the young, the President... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..started to think about who was a negative in his cabinet and it looked like Rummy was on the short list. Also there was…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the question of that new currency which was about to be introduced right before the election. Perhaps the timing wasn't right. But, then again... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Dubya’s timing hadn’t been very good for some time now. This little invasion should have been over by now, just in time for the election, however…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the intelligent segment of the populace wasn't buying it and were beginning to reach the inevitable conclusion. Despite this, Dubya kept... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …on with his delusional down home Texan talk with a little religion thrown in. His appeal rang a bell with the high school dropouts however…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...especially those who loved puppet shows. Dubya's "No Strings Attached" philosophy rang a little hollow, however. Nevertheless... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …there were some who wanted to keep him office, just why was beyond the reach of the average citizen. His service record wasn’t the most illustrious of the candidates and…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...he was known to have tried to cut corners any way he could while enlisted. However... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..it was his knowledge of foreign policy’s which made one wonder if he should really be in charge. This lead to… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...all sorts of linguistic snafus since Dubya wasn't exactly blessed with the gift of gab. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..he finally was given a chart to simplify things for himself but it proved to be lacking for most people. This caused some… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...some of Dubya's predecessors to question his ability to lead. Even... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| Barney knew Dubya was a looser and found some consolation with one of the joint chief’s prosthetic device. Never-the-less he…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...maintained his faithfulness to his master even as new evidence was uncovered that revealed possible simian branches of the Bush family tree. Interestingly... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the family values haven’t swung to far from the tree. Meanwhile, back in… |
|
|
| laborlitigator |
| Rhode Island, the Hilton sisters discovered the power of. . . |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...persuasion is no more than a breast or two away. Enlisting the aid of Mr. Timberlake, the Kerry campaign comes up with a new angle to get their point across (no pun intended). In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….the Japanese, using their quick minds, turned the idea into a rally scarf. Calling it the dubya malfunction, it was “utterly” successful and Kerry decided to… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...incorporate the concept into a new "got milk?" campaign. However... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..the democrats had been burned before on such matters and so it was decided to…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...abandon this campaign and go with a more "Hollywood" approach. Therefore... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….Dubya played himself in a remake of the Beverly Hillbillies for a short campaign spot. He thought by playing a common man he might get their vote. Little did they know that Dubya was in the pocket of… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| the forces of Mount Doom as evidenced by this revealing picture. Accordingly... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the dark forces had been gathering for some time now as evidenced by the former first lady. In fact…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...from time to time Dubya morphed into his alter-ego. And during those times... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..he would remember the good times he had while AWOL from the guard. Yes sir, the good old days with no decisions to make except… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ... for the occasional letter to practice his writing and penmanship. Ah yes, those were simpler times and... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …there was fun to be had on the ranch. Daddy was head of the CIA and so Dubya could do whatever he wanted, and a few sheep found out the hard way. This lead to… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the evolution of the person who has become known as "Dubya." Although claiming to be a man on his own, in reality his origin has much more sinister roots. And like his Pappy, he was trying hard to... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| .. fit in with the country club crowd. When someone asked if he wanted to do a foursome, he thought it meant something else and soon found himself… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...in a compromising position, giving new meaning to the term "love" on the courts. Speaking of "foursome" this is how Dubya came up with a new campaign strategy. And furthermore... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| his numbers in the polls started to climb. The swift- boat boys decided to voice their opinions regarding a certain drama but this caused some negative reaction as….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...well as some Dubya campaign literature and posters that tried to take advantage of some popular movies. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..it was looking like Dubya and Dick would do just about anything to remain in power. In fact… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...some of the campaign strategies were downright crazy. Nevertheless... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..he needed to get re-elected because there would be too many questions regarding his decision to invade another country and in four years it would fade away. Dubya decided to… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...stick with the plan and continue with his "movie analogy offensive." His first poster raised some eyebrows. Then there was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..a rather zesty roll which he could really relate to. He had always admired old leather face and this was his chance to show off his dark side. Next came… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...a role that showed Dubya in character. This was followed by... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …his staring roll in the “First Debate”. Dubya is up for his portrayal of a sitting president in this action packed adventure. Karl Rove is also in the running for best supporting actor for his quick response to Kerry’s questions regarding Dubya’s actions. Another covert CIA mistake movie rated “G” for everyone. Next will be…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...an Oscar nomination for Dubya's "performance" in the debates. Then... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …there were the rumors about his ability to catch flies. Most people thought that meant he was good at baseball, however… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...those who knew him better realized that it had more to do with his alter ego. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …he had so many different alter egos, many doubted his sanity. Most confused of all was… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...was Dubya himself. All these debates and the lights and the questions were revealing how clueless he really was. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …he was asking Karl if he could do away with all this hub-bub and just do it like the good-old-days. Karl told his that would take four more years to be put into place and so… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Dubya continued to foster the coalition that he had started. However... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..it was looking more as if no one else wanted to join in after not finding any WMD, on Iraq’s side anyway. Maybe…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...he could get support from an unexpected source. After all, they say that politics makes for some very strange bedfellows. Accotdingly, Dubya set out to... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …woe any and everybody he could get. He was on his way to San Francisco to address … |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the Swish Set when he stopped off at Berkeley to audition for American Idol. Even though he wasn't chosen... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..he met an interesting girl named Sofonda Cox who wore the strangest cloths and little did Dubya know that Sofonda was strange in other ways too. What happened next … |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...was almost too unusual to believe. Sofanda's sister, Ivana Cox, showed up and questioned what Dubya's intentions were towards her sibling. He put his foot in his mouth when he mentioned... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..his past liaisons with Iva Fetish, a well known person among the village people. It seems Sofonda Cox and Iva had some history together and…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...even the members of Dubya's staff didn't want to talk about it. But little did they know that... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Dubya’s “Daddy” was none other than Monkey Man Manny who broke Dubya in one night during a hazing ritual at good old Yale. Poor Dubya has had to wear Depends ever since being inducted into phi beta bum. This caused… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Dubya to go "underground" when in the presence of his fraternity brothers. He came up with a disquise that served his purposes. Today, however, if this ever were to become common knowledge... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …it might ruin his good name. The boys at Phi Beta Bum still joke about how Monkey Man made Dubya wear his jeans backwards for pledge week. Poor Dubya…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...was permanently scarred by these events. His mind wandered and he was constantly lost. That would explain why... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Dubya has done everything wrong for four years. If it wasn’t for his inheritance of money and connections, the Dubya would be on welfare. He sure wouldn’t have gone to Yale and probably not make it through high school. To make a long story short… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Dubya is Bush. That didn't stop him from continuing on his present course to assure that another election would "go his way." In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Dubya was already sending out his presents to his pals across the street. Brother Jeb was also… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...helping out by coming up with a new campaign to get out the Boat People vote. Also in the mix was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..Karl’s plan to link Kerry with homeless women who was really Osama Ben Laden’s main squeeze. Next they were planning…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...to create a more visible web presence to further their ideals. In addition... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| Dubya would have a photo of the evidence people are loosing their son’s and daughters for. Next they would… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...work on Dubya's family image by showing him holding babies. Then would come... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….his new plans for Medicare. It was a stroke of genius thought up by the social security trust fund people which is now owned by china. Dubya really … |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...thought that he had a winner here, as well as his ideas for fast food restaurants. However... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| The food disagreed with most people. Dubya tried Texas crude in the deep fryers and the health dept. closed him down. Then there was the…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...problem placating the senior vote after the way that Dubya had treated them. Obviously they were turning on him since his actions did not reflect his promises, so he... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …decided to make one of their own head of the bureau. This was a double positive in that he could count on more senior votes and he could expect getting off on leaking the CIA agent to the press. Next he… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...went for the Hollywood vote by introducing a "Best Intern" award for the Oscars. After that... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..he had a few personal advertisements to make for a few contributions received during the past four years. Then he… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...looked over some of his debate notes for additional ideas. It occured to him that... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …he was a “real good drawer” and his college professors at Yale were right about perusing a career in abstract art. Next he |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...took a Global Studies test to rate his ability to handle such affairs. The results were as expected. Therefore... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …surrounded him self with people he thought were experts on the global issues, however, once again, poor Dubya was wrong. The cabinet was made up of the usual “yes” men which Dubya got along with the best and so… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...it was business as usual. In fact Dubya's smear tactics reached a new low with a new ad campaign. Most angry about this was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the Vatican, but Dubya had an answer for their objections. The election was just around the corner and.. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Dubya was pulling out all the stops. He even added some surprising people to his re-election team. Not only that... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Rummy struck a deal with Saddam to get the oil flowing and he would just get life instead of the noose. He would be cell mates with Manuel Noriega with room for others who we think aren’t playing fair. Then the biggest surprise of all…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...occurred when Dubya played his trump card two weeks too soon. The boy never could count straight so... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …would you trust Dubya with your retirement? Or maybe Brother Neil who should have went to jail for his involvement in the S&L scandal which cost the taxpayer the largest bailout in the history of the world. Jeb looks a little fishy to me as well. So… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...it really wasn't too surprising to learn that Dubya might actually have had some assistance during the debates. As a counter measure, Kerry's team... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …released a baby picture of Mary Cheney with one of her dolls. It seemed to suggest an early preference for the fairer sex. Then they… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...released a little known picture showing Dubya's grandfather, Bubba Bush, punching out a diminutive Babe Ruth in an attempt to remove "The Curse." Unfortunately... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the “curse” passed down the Bush lineage and continues to this day. Dubya is grooming Jenna to be the first women president after his second term. The democrats … |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...were also aware of the "real" meaning of the terrorist alerts that Bush and Company were so fond of. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..big George was so proud of Dubya; he had Mattel produce a limited edition Bush Baby doll. They were to be passed out to the 10K dinner crowd however, |
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