| rfowkes |
| ...the local officials that they commisioned him to design an official vehicle for the mayor, who was afflicted with irritable bowel syndrome and all of its side effects. His honor... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| was impressed with Stosh’s creation; however he really liked the Bumper Dumper for all outdoor sports. The mayor used it often and… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...was pleased with the results. In fact, now that Hiz Honor was toilet trained he turned his attention to Fido. Unfortunately, the pooch was obviously related to Stosh because... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …of the fact that both had learned the value of stretching exercises on long lonely nights without companions. The community however felt the need to limit this activity to a more private place and not in full view.... |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...as it strived to deal with a population that was becoming more and more illiterate. Pictorial signs had replaced written signs for most things in life as the "MacDonald's Generation" took over. In fact, at the fast food chains... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …even their signs were lacking in taste. It seems that the X-generation was becoming more and more…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...bold with their signs. Of course, they had to remember that if you want to get your message across you need a subtle combination of words and graphics or your project might backfire. In addition... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …one cannot stress too much not to use gutter humor or religion or politics which might offend the…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...moral majority or those with religious beliefs. Of course, the Internet has changed a lot of that because... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..what was once thought to be nasty is now a little silly because…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...acceptable practices have changed. For example, back in the early part of the 20th century it was considered risque at the pool to show one's knees. With modern swimsuits, however... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …there is little to be left to the imagination. Meanwhile, back in |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the "forbidden zone" other ingenious artwork was surfacing. For example... |
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|
| ByeByeChrysler |
| :19: :19: :19: |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the homer look was resurfacing as a popular beach fad. Then there was the… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ..."Devil Made Me Do It" model, which was especially popular this past Halloween. Also in vogue was ... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …area 51 which most found “out of this world”, another popular body art was… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ..."Wiley Smiley" which was very popular with the shaved set. Additionally... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …lets not overlook some men’s participation into the wacky world of body art. This was… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...followed by some wacky chest art by the ladies. Then there was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …CPO Betsy who had been the waves for a 20 year hitch. Next up was… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Soda Fountain Sally, who invited all to take a slip. Then came... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …erotic fast food, for the white collar boy’s downtown. Meanwhile, |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the ladies were preparing for the upcoming holiday season. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …most all the girls were getting into the act by.. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...adorning their bodies with creative artwork. Even politicians were getting into the act. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …old George had never looked better. Also looking good was… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the group known as the Backstreet Girls, who were adorned in a colorful motif. Then there was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the horticultural society with instruction on drip systems. Next came… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...good old Pussy Galore who took matters into her own hand, so to speak. And, of course, there was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Miss Moneypenny who stole the show with her new hair dew. She splashed on some OPIUM perfume and was last seen… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...heading out to join her friend Madame Butterfly who was preparing for a special event. Additionally... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the beer garden opened up on the bow for those who needed their barnacles scraped off. Then the… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...activities director called everyone up to the sports deck for an intensive session of body callesthenics. This was followed by... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …lots of hydration which was supplied by the Swedish rep. Next on the agenda…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...was drying off the lips on a special glass instrument. Of course there was always the danger that... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …one of her friend had used the “glass instrument” without her knowledge which might.. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...cause a "glass malfunction" and some facial injuries. In fact, it reminded some old folks of the time that Uncle Fester sneezed while doing his lightbulb trick. Unfortunately for Fester... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …he ended up being the Halloween head on the porch. Little did he know… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...what he would witness that night in the way of Trick or Treaters. For example, Leopard Man showed up for some treats. Then there was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the weirdo’s from the red block showed up for more from the cookie jar. Then… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...a few of the girls showed up with some "retro" costumes. This was followed by... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….a replica of Don King when he was young. Next came…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...a quartet of trick or treaters who paid homage to OZ. Next up... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..was Uncle Buck who portrayed an outpatient after getting a vasectomy. Next at the door was.. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the neighbor's dog, Fido, who came dressed as a Playboy Bunny. The next doorbell ring brought... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the five mutts who had been leaving presents in your yard and chasing the cat around for the past year. They were in for… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...a bit of a surprise when the door was answered by the Leopard Lady who didn't take kindly to dogs who teased cats, in or out of costume. Needless to say... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …there was more than one dog in trouble that night. Chester, the terrier, didn’t like the way…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...that his master had forced him to help with his penile enlargement and decided to put a stop to all sexual activity. In addition... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| his Wednesday night bowling would have to be postponed because… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Tabby had to be punished for catching yet another mouse. Dumb cat. If only he... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …hadn’t gotten into that bag of catnip, he might have made something of himself. Now he was just… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...doing what comes naturally when under the influence of "chemical assistance." In fact, Tabby was so wired that when he came out of the shower... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..he didn’t think twice when he saw Harry getting a swirly in the urinal. Harry had been.. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...pulling an all-nighter at the local pub. Unfortunately he couldn't handle his liquor. As a matter of fact he couldn't even handle the bottles properly so his condition was actually the result of a combination of many factors. This included... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …a visit to Tony Montana for a little pick-me-up. This temporally knocked him out but he… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...quickly rebounded once his girl Friday brought him another brewsky in a most attractive fashion. This caused Harry to... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …head down to the Trees Lounge for more of the same. He realized he had forgotten to… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...put on his lucky shorts so he decided to make the best of a bad situation and stop by the side of the road with "Plan B" of his Glandual Enlargement Series. This time... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Harry would measure up to his girlfriend Marie’s rather demanding requirements. She had been living in the Congo and had developed a taste for… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...furniture with a Beer Theme. Luckily, Harry found the perfect chair at a tag sale, so he... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..settled in to watch the fights on TV. He wasn’t sure if he was hallucinating or not when… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...a most unusual version of "The $100,000 Pyramid" appeared on his screen. Harry thought... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ..about doubling his efforts to enlarge his manhood and it seem to him that the only thing getting bigger was his arm. His next thought was… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...about the big pussy waiting for him at home, so he redoubled his efforts to improve his physique. One thing he did was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …get some body art which would create a romantic mood for all. He told the tattoo artist he wanted something sexy but unbeknown to Harry, the artist was gay. Oh well… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...there was always "Plan B" which involved some candy, some peanuts, a bra, a bed and a whip. This could be followed by... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …some erotic story telling which would … |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...lead to a round of "Shave the Pussy" which, in turn, would cause... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …an embarrassing photo in the local papers. But at least Harry could now… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...sleep at night since that embarrassing photo taken of him and his sister Sheila at the Olympic skating tryouts would now fade into the public's memory. However... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the family dog decided it was all too much and went into hiding. He thought that.. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...this family was really all screwed up as far as household pets were concerned. For example, there was the time that Harry's Uncle Waldo had let the cat out of the bag on the way to the animal shelter. Then there was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Salem who liked to dig up corpses and hiss in their faces. This was unfortunate because… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...except for these graveyard indiscretions, Salem was one tough tabby and Harry's family loved how she protected them. For example, she routinely kept all the neighborhood German Shepards at bay. In addition... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …she could be sweet as pie. Except when…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...getting ready to shave. Choosing just the right lather brush could be such a chore! Eventually... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …she decided to postpone this shaving theme after remembering about uncle henrys accident with the straight razor. His hearing hadn’t been the same since loosing the ear and this.. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...was one pussy who wasn't going to trust Henry, or even worse, Uncle Oscar, who really never got the hang of shaving around the neck area. Then there was Aunt Mildred who... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …went a little too cheap on her implants at the “Knockers -R-Us” clinic in Tijuana Mexico. Signor Mohammed Tanenbaum assured Mildred she would get use to them and he was sorry about the misunderstanding and thought they looked quite …. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...nice and would work out just fine if she didn't sit down whenever she was excited. It was pointed out to Mildred that her operation gave a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Kiss My Ass" and that she should look on the bright side. However, she ... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …wanted a refund from the good doctor Mohammad (who was also ran the local wedding chapel / cat house). He told her to take a …. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...flying leap but her pets Flipper and Elsie beat her to it. Undaunted, Mildred... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| Hired an attorney and along with Hank, another victim of Senor Tanenbaum, sued for mental and physical cruelty. The Mexican court… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...ruled that the good Senor was guilty as changed and sentenced him to five years in Gayville, where he would quickly learn what happens to people with misplaced asses. Armed with a case of K-Y jelly, Tanenbaum proceeded to... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …make friends with Big Ben, who was rumored to have the hairiest…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...girl friend in the business - a situation that he solved with a well-placed tattoo. In addition... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …he decided to have a matching tattoo to show his affection and on conjugal visits they would… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...take turns holding each other and thinking about their true love. In fact, once Big Ben... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …thought about marriage so he could exploit the girl’s natural abilities which were the ideal size for his t-shirt production. However, Johnny Law had… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...other ideas and came busting through the door (no pun intended) to arrest the couple. Luckily, Big Ben was a quick thinker and saved the day with a judicious placement of two of his baseball caps so that no laws were violated. But the police... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …didn’t like the snow lady in the front yard which had an uncanny resemblance to their chief. Furthermore…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...they were a little concerned about Ben's Christmas decorations which seemed to exploit his cat and they vowed to alert the SPCA regarding this. In addition... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….Ben’s dog, Caesar, had been influenced by his antisocial behavior and now faced being euthanized. However …. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...before that drastic step was taken, Ben and his girl tried a few other persuasive techniques to see if Caesar would respond. First up was the "throw the pooch so hard between two birches that he sticks" method. Then came... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Cousin Brutus who tried to teach Caesar some working skills so he would fit into society but the neighbors didn’t like the smell coming from the kitchen. Then .. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...there was the "blow the evil out of Caesar's system" method that worked in some eastern cultures. But the thing that really got results was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| getting Caesar a one way ticket to China the next time he decided to put the hurt on someone. This worked …. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...wonders, so much so that they abondoned their plans to make Caesar into a pimp dog. Instead... |
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|
