| rfowkes |
| ...heating up, The Governator cooled things down by walking into the room with his latest date. Everyone in the room was shocked, especially... |
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| Mr. Mom |
| …when they found out she was David’s fourth wife, Rainbow. Janet couldn’t believe this new development and….. |
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|
| rfowkes |
| ...tried to call her brother, who was otherwise occupied in court. He was sporting a most unusual mask and... |
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|
| Mr. Mom |
| …thinking about the good old days with his pals. One of his favorite thoughts was…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the time that he was asked to star in a movie sequel. Then there was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Karl showing why we don’t see much of him at live news conferences. It was much better when …. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...we could actually understand people in office. But nowadays you practically need an interpreter to make any sense of things. Especially when... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …they have a stogie in their mouths. Meanwhile the ladies were…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...busy checking out the Governator's "package." Speaking of packages... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the Indy race was stopped in its tracks when a nice package arrived from down under. The Governator wanted to get under her hood and grease her rear end but….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ... driving the pace car toward Paradise, something that had Maria a little concerned. However... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …she was more concerned about the Chinese bootleg versions of the new video game company she was venturing into. She decided to…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...confer with Dubya, who was busy disciplining a pooch in preparation for the holiday next month. Therefore... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …she got to see Dubya’s foreign policy. Taking a cue from Homeland Security, Dubya thought up a clever alert system mounted in one of his limos. This should clarify our policy to the average…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...person who otherwise might be confused. Meanwhile, back in Santa Barbara, the whole world's attention was on recent events. Some were relying on faith to get them through the rough spots. Others... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …could take one look at Mike and tell something was wrong. Still, he had passed the babysitter class and was posting flyers for work, meanwhile |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the Neverland Giftshop was doing a land office business with their new tee shirts. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …they were outselling his new video, except in San Francisco where he was offered immunity inside the city limits. Another hot item was…… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...a second tee shirt that explained Michael's position. Then there was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …a few opinions which started to make Michael realize maybe he should do as Roman Polanski and so… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...he packed up his bags and his photo I.D. and proceeded to... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …his nip & tuck man who took mikey one step further. Liz was able to sneak him through security and….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...before you could say "Krispy Kreme" Michael was a Liz-Lookalike. Meanwhile... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….some of the spooks at gitmo wanted to change the gift from France. This caused…. |
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|
| rfowkes |
| ...Dubya to issue a statement, or at least try so since he was having a bit of a problem. Nevertheless... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….Mattel went ahead with the Dubya Doll. They figured it would be a collectable after people were safe to speak up without fear of going to the gulag. It was sometime after… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...this that another round of the popular game, "Find the Apricot" was started. Back in Bozeman... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….Michael Jackson was seen celebrating down at the YMCA with a bag of candy. Meanwhile, |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...he was already planning his next movie while also... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …earning a little pin money while staying in the limelight. Meanwhile, back in Cut bank ...... |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the townsfolk had just unveiled their latest project designed to rid the downtown area of some of its more unsavoy inhabitants. However... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the ex mayor’s son Andy, was such a frequent visitor to the downtown area, giving out autographed Yankee baseballs for B-J’s. The city council decided to…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...allow him to set up a rather unique concession stand to relieve his tension. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the downtown area seemed to be rejuvenating itself and attracting people with money. Next to move in the area was….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the local tart, who started to solicit Christmas business even though it was the middle of June. However... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …when Chickita moved in, things really started to take off. Next came …. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...MJ's, the first Sushi Bar in Cut Bank specializing in kiddie portions. The owner had a very familiar look and... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …was learning a valuable lesson about choices. He decided that maybe he should go black for the civil trial and play the N card. Meanwhile,… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Of course, he could forsake makeup entirely and then the world would really find out how his unusual life style had taken a toll on his body as well as his psyche. But finally he decided to ... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …get back into the place he wanted to be and so he ventured into the medical field with a new self exam coin-op business. This proved to be….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...a bit inconvenient and even painful for certain residents of the Cut Bank muslim community so they... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …moved the machine next to the local K.F.C. where Mr. Jackson could see if it was finger licking good. Big Manny was a bit shy about… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...posing for "Buddah of the Month" but he had bigger problems with his girl friend who was causing a stir at work. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …some of the men were “in the rut” over Latesha’s booty and the competition was stiff. Too bad….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...that they were concentrating on Latesha so much. They totally overlooked the babe pumping iron over in the corner. Nevertheless... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….Latesha had the hots for the boss and fantasized about rubbing coco butter all over his…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...hot cross buns until she realized that they were so hot that they would burn the butter. Instead she... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …decided a different approach might do the trick with boss man and thought about getting some body art like her co-worker Jesse had done with positive results in that… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...strange little store over on U.S. Route 2 in downtown Cutbank. In fact, even the mayor's daughter, Blondie, was getting into the act. But the Mayor... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …’s wife stole the show with her cat eyes. The mayor was….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...so taken by his wife's new look that he decided that he had to have her immediately. Grabbing her and rushing into the forest, he threw her down and mounted her passionately. Unfortunately, KoKo from the Circus that was in town had a similar idea and.... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….bingo, a new reality series was born when the local fox news agent happened to witness the event. Auditions were held at Cut Banks VFW and the local Tommy Bahama store donated the set. The first girl to apply was…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Precious Jackson, but there was some question regarding her gender, her race and her ability to survive in the forest without other small people. Then there was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …kookie who happened to be in town promoting his new line of pompadour hair products, currently the rage with the cut bank fly fishing folks. His gel worked wonders keeping the fly’s floating in the rivers. Next to audition was…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| Harvey The Wonder Pooch who was known to tackle big jobs without any regard to his personal safety. Unfortunately... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….Harvey wondered into the wrong ally and is now on the menu at the “One Hung Low” restaurant. Some of Cut Banks finest beauties were there to get their 15 mins. of fame. However,…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...they were beaten to the punch by two of Cut Bank's Carpet Chewers who seemed more interested in each other than a role in the reality series. All of a sudden... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Bob strolled in with his living large look, which everyone in the room was more than curious about. The director put Bob on his short list for the lead and….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...then went back to business clueless about what was going on around him. After all results were in... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….it was a tie between lube job Lea and oil can Charley. They both had what it took to be a star. Just when it looked like it was going to be Charley, Lea……. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...admitted that she had illegally destroyed the applications of two other contestants, Billy "Big Stick" Longo and Barbara "Boobs" Bushy. Accordingly, Lea was eliminated and... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….this left the door open for a few of Cut-Banks finest, the Coozie sisters. They were know far and wide for their…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...rolls in the hay, as well as for other farm-related activities. In fact, they once hooked up with the infamous Hat brothers to... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….do a demonstration on hog tying, however instead of being for PBS, the hat brothers were involved with an artsy California production. The girls didn’t mind ….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...any of this. In fact, they were used to being the center of attention. As the plans for Cutbank's reality series diminished... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….a rumor spread that an important political figure had landed for the annual Cut-Bank Forth of July parade and BBQ down at the American Legion Hall. However,…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...he wasn't out west for a barbeque, but to launch a new space initiative to counter the bad press created by the war. Accordingly... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the BBQ was held in space at the insistence of the Dubya. It was looking like he would have to pass the UN resolution war on to his successor ……. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...until one of the hotdogs found a unique resting place. Bubba jumped up to retrieve it and... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….ended up making a bogie by landing in the sand trap, getting slapped with an out of bounds by going into the lake. He finally got lucky and made the green with a wedge. Because of the pressure, he ended with two strokes before exploding in the hole. Everyone….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...had to remind Bubba that he needed to control himself since he already had a bad reputation. But nevertheless... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ……….Bubba couldn’t help himself and he felt people should cut him some slack. Having his finger on the button all day was a lot of pressure and Monica seemed to help it all go away. Anyway….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...back in Bubba's home state measures had been taken to make sure that he didn't put his finger on other people's buttons without their knowledge, but that's another state and another story for another time. Back in Montana... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ……Suzie’s pussy was looking rather haggard. Duke offered to freshen it up with a shampoo and trim, maybe a stitch or two would help shape up the puss. Duke…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...didn't realize, however, that Suzie would take great umbrage at his remarks and punish him severely. This left Duke with... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …no chance to win the bull riding event over the holiday. He couldn’t understand why Suzie was so upset. Little did he realize….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...that at that very moment Suzie was out in the field sizing up future targets. In fact... |
|
|
| ByeByeChrysler |
| Suzie was wondering how was she going to "tea bag" them, her mouth wasn't big enough, so............ |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …..resorted to a rather painful way of making the beast more docile. She just needed to figure out how to make the big …… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...package more accessible so she turned to her brother Ralphie for advice. Unfortunately... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …whatever Duke had spiked her drink with just started to take effect and it looked like it was going to be a doozie. As Raphine started to melt before her eyes, sparks were coming out his ears, and she started to feel a warm sensation down on her …. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...nether area, but she soon realized that it wasn't her fella, but just some heat coming indoors from the BBQ outside which had gotten a little out of hand. It seems that a couple of townsfolk were BBQ "newbies" and they didn't realize that you had to kill the chicken before you put it on the grill. In addition... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …..the see how long you can hold the firecracker contest was in full swing and last years winner, Stevie Wonder, was going to present the trophy to….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Tommy "No Hands" Knocker, who, unfortunately would no longer be able to engage in his favorite swimmin' hole pastime with his girl friend, Betsy. Instead of being caught brown-handed in the future, Tommy would... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ……have to resort to using his feet to please his gal Betsy. Actually, this got both their juices flowing and ….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...led to a most pleasurable evening in the pup tent. Of course, they should have brought a bigger tent with them because it caused a bit of an embarassment when... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….the man in the next tent over had to move in because his bed got soaked. This caused a bit of a ….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...a stir but was nothing compared to when Tommy went outside to "take care of business" and accidentally backed into a rubber tree. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …..it soon gathered a crowd of not too sympatric onlookers. They were a splinter group from….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the Montana Chapter of the Village People Groupies and were circled around their leader Gay Ken who... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …was in contact with the great Carnac who told him “Ben Gay”. And the question was, why didn’t Mrs. Franklin have any …… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Children? Of course, the answer really didn't have anything to do with Ben's sexual orientation but more with Mrs. Franklin's looks. In fact, this is what drove ol' Ben to... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….join a secret lodge society where there were rumors about Ben and ….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Jerry, and they weren't making Ice Cream, if you know what I mean. In fact, lots of fellow couples... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …decided it best to keep their jobs a secret. Meanwhile, the lame duck was still….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...forgetting to bring BEANO with him whenever he went out in public. Therefore.. |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …his diet of bananas was strictly enforced when in public. This made …… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...several people quite angry, not the least of which was Fifi the White House Intern who had hoped to use the bananas to prepare her special "Bananas Foster ala Bubba" recipe for Dubya. Instead... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….Dubya wanted to surprise the troops again with a turkey. Some people thought he just wanted to get out of town due to Karl being a traitor. Others thought…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...that he might want to heed the advice of some of the troops. On the other hand... |
|
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|
