| Mr. Mom |
| ...stay out of the south where the girls would stop at nothing to ……. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...try to please their man, especially in Atlanta at the Coca Cola stand. And they would even go so far as to... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….congratulate each man who made the Bulldog team. Meanwhile back in…. |
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| rfowkes |
| ...Montana the folks were gearing up for the annual Unabomber Festival. This year the theme was said to be... |
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| Mr. Mom |
| …the Unabomber's manifesto and the first one to memorize the full text will win a full scholarship to Bozeman trade technical institute sponsored by the pipe fitters union and powder monkeys club of Montana. The …. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...second prize would be an all expenses paid trip to next year's Dog Crapping Contest on the shores of beautiful Flathead Lake. The Kaczynski family had many fond memories there... |
|
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| Mr. Mom |
| ….where they witnessed a record breaking pile delivered by Bruno who is owned by Erne, the pot-roast king of Butte. It seems Ernie’s chain of Pot-Roast drive thru chuck wagons had gone belly up and good old Bruno got to eat his fill for 6mos straight. Third prize….. |
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| ByeByeChrysler |
Third (turd) prize was on the golf course......
 |
|
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| rfowkes |
| ...where the view was a little nicer than on the tennis court. Of course... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….it always depends on the location of the game as to whether or not there will be babes to goggle over and so…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...sometimes it's up to the spectators to provide the spectacles. On the other hand... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….a good backhand will bring out the sassy fillies. This also attracts… |
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| rfowkes |
| ...malcontents who like to express themselves through their tee shirts. It also... |
|
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| Mr. Mom |
| ….attracts mojo mamas with their lucky feathers and bras. Among the |
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| rfowkes |
| ...onlookers was the Bozeman Ladies Pep Squad to cheer the participants on. Can you find Dubya's niece among the crowd? She was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….just about to take a dip in flathead lake when she notices her swim suit had sunk, or perhaps the daily workout with her bodyguard……. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...an Asian exchange student with lots of interesting toys, was causing the wear and tear on her privates. Speaking of which... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….private Nadine was working up a static electrical charge on a daisy cutter when….. |
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| rfowkes |
| ...she touched her pussy and the rest is history. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …..it took awhile for her pussy to enjoy a good game of pac-man and she was so good it was hard to find a man who could keep up with….. |
|
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| rfowkes |
| ...her, which drove her to drink and a life as a couch potato. Her only recourse was to... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …..end it all which she tried to do however the driver…… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...didn't use the car for six weeks so she finally decided to drown her sorrows at the nearest bar, where she was picked up by one of the local party dogs who slipped her a mickey and took her back to his place. The next morning... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …she tried to drown herself in a pint like many an Irishman before her. Lucky for her the ….. |
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| rfowkes |
| ...bartender had some long necks to satisfy her when the tap ran dry. Afterwards... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….poor puss woke up in bed with the town’s ugliest ape; she knew she had reached her personal bottom. Her only choice was to….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...drink an extra large black coffee at Starbucks and hope to sober up quickly. Meanwhile... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Dubya was modeling the governments answer the upcoming bird flu pandemic. Brother Jeb had been sneaking them into the USA from Puerto Rico and was poised to cash in. A no bid contract was issued to ….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Martha Stewart Industries proving once again that... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….crime does pay, if you can pay for expensive lawyers. Meanwhile, Dubya was lying low as Karl was about to be… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...fitted for one of those fashionable Martha Stewart Orange suits for his "homecoming." In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …..he was starting to panic and so was Dubya because it wouldn’t look good to have his main man being someone else’s main man. However…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the cards appeared to be stacked in Karl's favor based on past actions. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the way they would spin it would be just opposite of the truth and of course someone else would take the fall just like Ollie North. But….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Old Karl continued to plow his way through his own personal deck of cards and... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …found another Ace. He was thinking he could draw out the trial until 2008 and then get the good old boy pardon from outgoing Dubya. This …. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...caused Dubya to feign surprise in order to cover his butt. However... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….with Karl’s favorite holiday just around the corner, he tried on his new dough boy jump suit he hoped he wouldn’t soon be wearing for big bubba in the lockup. However, |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...he was confident that his attitude would keep him from getting poked in the pokey. Little did he know... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….there would be several GOP citizens sleeping with one eye open and not wanting to shower with the general population, however…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...they were still agreeable to helping out by providing free services for the masses. For example... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …..the boys were helping in a photo shoot for recruitment posters. I looked like more sons and daughters would be needed as the “private contractors” were quitting. There was a plan to hire Mexicans to fight for us but…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...they were too busy perfecting their own weapons of mass destruction. Another possibility was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….one which Condi was working on, i.e., sending a squad of sumo wrestlers over to ferret out the insurgents. The best bet was to…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...call on Iron Mike to give them an earful. However... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Condi was secretly being romanced by Mike and had figured out how to keep him from nibbling on her neck. Although they didn’t have much to talk about there was… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...their love child who made it big in the media to consider. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the “best boy” was already picked (in more ways than one) and the other details such as… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...how many boy toys per hour should be admitted to Neverland. The "best boy" already had some thoughts on this. Additionally... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….he wanted one big fella as well to round out the evening. Of course….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ..."Best Boy" failed to consider all the legal repercussions so... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….he decided to move to Saudi Arabia where silly laws regarding sex with minors wouldn’t raise any eyebrows with the ruling family. In fact the local camel herders… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...were getting the kiddie pool ready in honor of MJ's imminent arrival. They also... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …we’re eager to show jacko where the jocks hung out. Meanwhile… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...back in Houston, Astros fans were expressing their feelings about their team. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the word was out that Old Bean Ball himself wanted the ball next outing. He had been reading Silence of the Lambs and from the look on his face one would not want to get too close to the plate unless you wanted to be the special of the day. Anyway…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...if ol' Rog wasn't up to the task he could always call in his cousins Abe and Ethan to cut the White Sox down to size. Ethan was currently off starring as Randy in My Name is Earl and... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Abe ran the trading post on White Fish Lake and it looked like Abe’s wife Becky was welling to trade her pelt for a |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...chance at a spot in Space Camp. She was tired of having to man the snack bar at the Trading Post and... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….the rests stop by the interstate which drew in the customers. Becky longed for a better… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...life so she took a swig out of some Wine In a Box and headed off for Banff where she... |
|
|
| ByeByeChrysler |
.... started her new job..........
 |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….but soon tired of the cheese “head” and wound up at Canada’s answer to Holly weird. It was the great Regina Gopher Land golf course, better known as…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ... the place with big sandtraps and even bigger spectators. Besides... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….being big, it was also noted as having the longest vertical drop of any outhouse in the northern hemisphere. However, the key to its success was…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the way that the outhouse attendants handled patrons who were having "evacuation" problems. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …most of the men liked the facility so much it was difficult not to find a line at the door. But…… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...for the women it was another story, especially during the harsh winters. Therefore... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …most liked to use a sunny spot to do their business. But this lead to…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...all sorts of arguments during the winter months. One time, Becky's husband, Orville, was in the middle of a heated argument with a couple of friends down at the Kalispell Kafe and someone told him to, "Blow it out your ass!" And in a moment of serendipity Orville came up with a great idea. The downside was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….. Becky heard Orville had gotten a new snow blower and assumed the worst. This caused Becky to….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...drop the issue and prepare to go trick or treating. It's a good thing that she... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …refused to light the candle as Orville wanted to do. Orville went as Han Solo which Becky thought was…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ... a little bit retro. This was ironic, since she had wanted to go as Jabba the Hutt until she realized that... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the last time she wore the Hutt outfit was ten years of Big Macs ago, around the time she could still support her 45’s which first attracted Orville. But that was … |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...all but a distant memory. Nowadays, Orville was all talk and no action so all that Becky could do was to... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….resort to her libido which she was having a hard time finding. It seemed to Orville that the dishwasher was always going and …. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...even the local statuary wasn't safe from Becky's amorous advances. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….she developed a signature line of traveling companions called the “Ranch Hand”. The logo was, If Orville won’t pop your kettle, get the “Ranch Hand”. They were being promoted at the local KFC in Bozeman where the coeds were using them as sipping cups. Most….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...coeds had stopped going to the local 7-11 for their liquid refreshment ever since the weird new owner of the place kept wanting to show them his weapon of mass destruction. But the... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….waitress who worked there was a big hit with the male customers. In fact it was rumored she knew a different kind of Deep Throat than the FBI. And for a certain amount of cash….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...she would even let you watch a threesome involving her pets. In addition... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| .....if you really got lucky, she would show you her autographed copy of her personal heroine as well as….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...her favorite statue on the Montana State University campus. She had posed for it during her sophomore year and... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …this was where Becky was recruited by the CIA after she did her masters thesis on what to do with the spoils of war. She was a very popular agent….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...and was credited with finding out where a certain fugitive was hiding these days. As a result... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….the wet team was called upon once more. Just as before….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Becky employed unusual tactics to achieve her objectives. This time it involved The Magneto Brothers, Northo-San and Southo-San who proceeded to... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …first, create a diversion to polarize American women by writing another diet book causing Oprah to yin yang out of control, second…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ... to get them to assert themselves on the open road. Eventually... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….setting the trap for the male friends of the fore mentioned women to take the old bait and the next thing they knew….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...they were getting ready for a masquerade ball (no pun intended). Meanwhile, back in Bozeman... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the carnival was opening its gate for the folks to see some rather amazing sights. There was the two headed couple (most everyone wanted to know their sexual orientation) and there also was….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Harry the Narcoleptic Horny Humping Horse. Also on display was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….….the ever popular painted ladies and of course........ |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Wanda the Waitress with her unique way of serving up the brewskies! But the star of the show was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….Donald with the worlds longest comb over. Margie was runner up with her …. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ..."Chopper Coiffure" which was the rage of female helicopter pilots the world over. Other displays included... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….Eva Soya from Siberia displayed the Leningrad answer to Tempur-Pedic. Another winner was…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the Flying Waluskis performing their famous Jacuzzi Jump. In addition... |
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|
