| rfowkes |
| ...very light sentence. This was a whole lot better than the time that Wilbur got a little frisky with a young gal down at the Spit & Chew. On that occasion... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …..he had offered her a modeling job for his new line of T-shirts for the east coast crowd. It surprised him when she…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...said that she would only do this if she could also display her line of meat jewelry at the same time. Wilbur was at first reluctant but... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ....she reassured him things would pick up soon or she would… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...take her punishment and go to detention for a week. Wilbur decided that a better idea would be to... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …give her a second chance, after all, the first skiff of snow had fallen in Cut Bank and winter was still to come. And so…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...he got his vee-hicle ready to take himself and the young lass for a winter of merriment in the great Northwest. Unfortunately... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….they came to a halt when “Rainbow” was blocking the road while hugging a dead tree. Rainbow had just moved to Cut Bank from Boulder CO. and was selling crystals from a 1975 VW campervan when…… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...along came the Simpson Sisters, heading home after a full day of varmit hunting in the wilderness. Even though it was 12 below zero, when they saw Rainbow they... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …all went for a dip at the hot springs with locals. After that they…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...all headed over to Clyde's to celebrate his birthday. Then... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …..off to Tom’s place where good old Tom always had something to change one’s attitude. In fact, the town named a parking spot after him and…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...was aware that he was a bit of an "NRA" kinda guy. In fact, you could always recognize Tom's truck out on the streets of Cut Bank because... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …of the unusual theme he would use in the Veterans Day Parade. The FBI had an agent permanently assigned to…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Tom had assumed a disguise that he thought would blend into a Western motif. Unfortunately, he was a big "Spamalot" fan and... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….the buttons he was giving out were frowned upon in the red neck belt. In fact… |
|
|
| laborlitigator |
| . . . a new university was being erected in Downtown Fayetteville, where among some of the first year undergraduate courses included. . . |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …. “Bubba”, the true story of Hillary’s need to watch…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...for that commerative coin that became so valuable when it was released two years ago. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …she was starting to use her abilities in a few American Lung Association promotions. She really ….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...got into it and was soon trapsing all around the globe promoting her special technique. However... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….she discovered the real money was in endorsements of a related problem. It was apparent that… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Tom had assembled a harem of ladies talented in many different fields so he decided to open a gentlemen's club downtown. He even made room for some of the less attractive women including... |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Frieda "The Frog Lady." Also on the bill was... |
|
|
| ByeByeChrysler |
Frieda sister opted out, and decided to start working out. She wanted to trim down her thighs for the pussy extravaganza.
 |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …..And when Cut Banks finest hit the stage for the last lap dance a-go go, Harvey put a fiver in his teeth and…… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...ran down to Wal-Mart to get some protection for the heavy night ahead. Even though he was 98 cents short... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the clerk let him slide. However on the way back to the Deja Vu…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
...Harvey ran into two of Cut Bank's (or was that Red Bank's?!?) most notorious thugs who proceeded to...
 |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….strong arm poor Wilber for seed money. It seems they wanted to do a sequel to a quirky movie and…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ... tons of potential backers were lining up at the local VFW hall, just achin' to give their shirts off their backs to become part of the project. Unfortunately... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….the cast and crew were spending it faster than it was coming in and just as things were getting out of hand… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Sheriff Bannerman arrived in his custom squad car and proceeded to... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …give the African American crew a shower. After that … |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...they all headed down to the Cut Bank Saloon for a couple of light beers and... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| … pickled eggs, when some gal named Rita got up and did an impromptu strip. Then…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the pretzel lady started to show her stuff when... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the aroma of something drifted her way and…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the next thing she knew was sicker than she had been in many years. Luckily... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….a physical therapist showed up with a Natural Herbal Colon Cleanser which he proceeded to administer to her with…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...sage advice including, "Don't fart while wearing a wet suit" and other helpful things. Finally... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …..it was also suggested to “go with the flow” to the delight of the men watching the action, as well as….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Junior, who was otherwise occupied while reaching for the single malt scotch. Meanwhile... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Kevin was getting some good takes on the new project as well as….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...trying to deal with all the superhero extras who has aged quite a bit since Mallrats and weren't quite up to the rigorous shooting schedule for the new movie. In fact... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….Spiderman’s physical therapist said there was no way he could have him ready for the scene with King Kong and so…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Kevin called upon CD-Man, who was more than up to the task. Unfortunately... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …..C-D Man had a prior commitment being a limbo rod at a midget bar and so Kevin called upon …….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...The Batman to assume the role. There was some confusion and little did Kevin know that Batman's props were so huge that... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the set took a little hit trying to get it all together for the filming. After that they decided to…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...get all their ducks in order and head over to Flathead Lake for the annual lighting of the... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …smokehouse. But before they could the local chapter of Elvis elves had to clear the new sidewalk to the potlatch. Meanwhile, down at the co-op… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...assaulted peanut was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….claiming the minister had done the attack and was now headed to Bushwackers Tavern to take on a jar of pickled eggs. However…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the minister was waging another campaign which involved... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …a former acquaintance, Jessica Hahn. However, she was still working on Santa who wasn’t responding as he always had before to her wishes but she knew he would come around…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...or else he'd be replaced by Redneck Santa or... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …she might start a rumor that would get back to Mrs. Claus and ….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...before you know it there would be a new Santa in town. But... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….one man was confused about how to separate political and religious figures from reality. There seemed to be a lack of….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...rational actions on his part which might be attributed to things beyond his control. On the other hand... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….just who is in control was a question being asked by….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...those who suspected a lot of behind the scenes machinations. Dubya was still maintaining a tough stance, but... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….some Americans were wondering how far down he could possibly get. He….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...had already caused the Deptartment of Homeland Security to revise the parameters of their advisory system and now... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …they were having a hard time selling it to the citizens one more time. It was starting to… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...become apparent that Dubya was taking Imperialism a bit too literally and was definitely on the Dark Side of the Force. In addition... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ……he didn’t have much mercy for those voters in the red states who were duped into voting for his ….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...sorry ass, but at least some of those same voters were now beginning to sing a different, more promising tune. At least... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …some people were questioning why Dubya was holding hands with the nation involved with the 9/11 attack. And some were…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...questioning his motives on Valentine's Day when he... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …made a special trip for a big Havana cigar. Next he was off to…… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the Austin Zoo to pick up... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …..a Chinese Man, because he always wanted to test his ballistic missile against…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...more hostile forces, just as Santa had done with Mrs. Claus before heading to his sleigh tonight. Additionally... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….there was a lady friend he was looking forward to coming down her chimney and shaking his jingle bells over her….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...tree decorations. However... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …..Santa never forgot to leave a nice present for Krissy, as well as.. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...seeing who's been naughty and nice. Speaking of which, Dubya was up to his usual tricks and as the clock struck midnight... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …the boys launched some bombers disguised as reindeer and then….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...headed off to Mama's house for a bit of Christmas cheer and family reflection. Under Dubya's Christmas tree was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …a new personalized license plate and… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...a brand new Baseball Jacket to be worn once he is removed from office. And... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….a speaker phone so there wouldn’t be any more embarrassing moments with the French. And also… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...a poster from the new movie that he co-starred in. In his Christmas stocking was... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …his favorite bottle of Blended Scotch given to him by their namesake, the twins. Under the mistletoe was…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Weird Cousin Wanda who was showing off her unique Homer Simpson tattoo as usual. And also, as usual... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …Dubya got into the single malt and needed to kiss everything in sight. Things really got rolling when… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...Uncle Elmer showed up with the traditional big can of Brew. Babs started to... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….do some suggestive things with the Twinkies after a can or two. Then Dubya started to…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...reminisce about his inauguation day and how nice the Chief Justice had treated him and Mrs. Dubya. If only... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….he had got a getter grade on his Yale finals; he wouldn’t feel so inept with world leaders. But, being the party hound he…… |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...never really was any good at book learnin' so he... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ……tried his hand at evangelistic hair design, with Babs being the first to convert. He then tried his hand at….. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...living in the wild but Dian Fossey quickly put him in his place. After that... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| ….Dubya hit the lecture circuit recruiting future cabinet members where he met…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...the person who had been his inspiration in all this. Alfred told him... |
|
|
| Mr. Mom |
| …to be sure and get all the future blackmail he could so he could still rule after his second term. George eagerly…. |
|
|
| rfowkes |
| ...prepared himself for the campaign ahead. First it was a Cup of Joe poured by his faithful Laura, courtesy of the cartel. Then... |
|
|
|
