| laborlitigator |
While I'm the only one waiting in an elevator, someone jumps in and presses for a floor below mine.
Then I see the elevator across the way open up. Then jump out and get into it. . . |
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| perk |
Probably. But if you're really worried about it, relax and take a look at my list of 49 fun things to do in an elevator.
49 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occassionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
24. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
25. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
26. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
27. Burp, and then say "mmmm... tasty!"
28. Leave a box between the doors.
29. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
30. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
31. Start a sing-along.
32. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
33. Play the harmonica.
34. Shadow box.
35. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
36. Lean against the button panel.
37. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
38. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
39. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
40. Bring a chair along.
41. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
42. Blow spit bubbles.
43. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
44. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
45. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
46. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
47. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
48. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
49. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!" |
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| Sinecure |
| Damn you Perk. Now I have "Its a Small World" Stuck in my head. Its going to be there all day, I know it. |
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| tzeus |
quote:
Originally posted by perk
Probably. But if you're really worried about it, relax and take a look at my list of 49 fun things to do in an elevator.
:19: |
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| JerryinTO |
quote:
Originally posted by Sinecure
Damn you Perk. Now I have "Its a Small World" Stuck in my head. Its going to be there all day, I know it.
What's even worse is knowing the words.
Having a 9 and 6 year old in our MDX, sometimes they like to hear it.
OY!! Such a stupid song, eh? |
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| squaw_ski_bum |
quote:
Originally posted by Sinecure
Damn you Perk. Now I have "Its a Small World" Stuck in my head. Its going to be there all day, I know it.
A fun way to deal with having a stupid song stuck in your head is to make up new rude lyrics for it. This was inspired by last year's trip to Disneyland, after riding "Small World" with the kids and then being at the pool at the Disneyland Hotel. Conversation with spouse:
Her: See that babe over there?
Me: Uh, where? (of course I noticed her 5 minutes ago.)
Her: Do you think her boobs are fake?
Me: I don't know, maybe I'd better go check...
Her: Pig.
So I made this up in my head to go with the tune to "It's a small world"
Some boobs are fake, some are big and round
and I love to see them bouncing all around
Though your boobs are bare, and beyond all compare,
those are fake, fake boobs.
Chorus: those are fake boobs, I can tell,
those are fake boobs, I can tell,
those are fake boobs I can tell,
those are fake, fake boobs.
There was more but I've forgotten it.. maybe you guys can improve on it. |
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