| EXCALIBUR |
There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.
First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.
Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off.
The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw."
The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming.":yesyes: |
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| wasjr |
Dear Abby,
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice.
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."
I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.
Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of her when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls".
When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro shop where I bought it?
Signed,
Perplexed |
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| drjay |
Trix are for Kids
A little rabbit is running happily through the forest when he stumbles upon a
giraffe rolling a joint.
The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe, my friend, why do you do this?
Come. Run with me through the forest! You'll feel so much better!"
The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with
the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit says, "Elephant,
my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come. Run with us
through the pretty forest. You'll see, you'll feel so good!"
The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses
them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up. The rabbit says,
"Lion, my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come. Run with
us through the beautiful forest and you'll feel so good!"
The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and mauls the rabbit.
The giraffe and elephant watch in horror and look at him and ask, "Lion, why
did you do that? He was just trying to help you."
The lion answers, "That little bastard! He makes me run around the forest like a
freaking idiot every time he's on ecstasy!" |
|
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| ROTORRAY |
The guys were all at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room,
but no one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly.
They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time,
so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept in Daryl's cabin and came to breakfast the next morning
with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
The other guys said, 'Man, what happened to you?'
'Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all
night.'
The next night it was Frank's turn. In the morning, same thing:
hair standing up, eyes all blood-shot.
'Man, what happened to you? You look awful!'
'That Daryl shakes the roof. I sat up and watched him all night.'
The third night was Bubba's turn. Bubba was a big burly ex-football player - a man's man.
The next morning he came to breakfast, bright eyed and bushy
tailed. 'Good morning,' he said.
The others couldn't believe it! 'Man, what happened?'
He said, 'Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl in
and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night.' |
|
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| drjay |
Sex and the Septuagenarians
The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we
had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where
you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
"Yes," she says blushing, "I remember it well."
"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again, and we can do
it for old time's sake?"
"Oh, Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy but good idea!"
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and thinks to
himself, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll
just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support
aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make
their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his
trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then
suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever
seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises
and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting, on the
ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and
old age that he didn't know.
After recovering on the ground for about half an hour, the old couple struggle
to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, "This is truly amazing. I've
got to ask them what their secret is."
So, as the elderly couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was
something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some
sort of secret to this?"
Shaking and barely able to reply, the old man says, "Fifty years ago that
wasn't an electric fence!" |
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|
| TooHypper |
Dusty underwear
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast.
Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!!'
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.
'What the Heck is this??' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud
appeared when he shook them out.
'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'
She replied with a snicker, 'It's not talcum powder......
it's' Miracle Grow'. |
|
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| TooHypper |
Divorce vs. Murder
A nice, calm, respectable lady went into the pharmacy,
walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes,
and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need
cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "I can't
give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the
law! I will lose my license! They'll throw both of us in
jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not!
You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of
her husband at a fancy restauant, having dinner with the
pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now,
that's different. You didn't tell me you had a
prescription." |
|
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| drjay |
Young Mothers and the Psychiatrist
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers
and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even
named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom, Ann, and said: "Your obsession is with money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turned to the third mom, Joyce, and said: "Your obsession is alcohol. This
too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, got up, took her little boy by the hand
and whispered, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving." |
|
|
| EXCALIBUR |
Two older men are sitting on a park bench talking and one of them asks the other about his sex life. The man answers that he has an excellent sex life and is still very active.
The other man confesses that his sexual appetite has greatly diminished with old age so he asks the other man if he has any secrets for staying sexually vital.
"Well," answered the man, "I eat rye bread everyday. That is my secret. If you just eat rye bread, your sex life will improve dramatically."
The other man decides to follow this advice and finds a bakery nearby. He tells the clerk behind the counter that he wants all of the loaves of rye bread that they have in stock.
The clerk then asks the man, "do you want whole loaves or do you want us to slice them?"
The man looks puzzled and asks the clerk, "what is the difference?"
The clerk responds, "Well when it's sliced, it gets harder faster."
To which the man responded, "How come everyone knew about this but me?":confused: |
|
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| drjay |
Jes' Good Ole Boys
Billy Bob and Jethro were sitting around talking over a jug of moonshine.
After a while Jethro looked at Billy Bob and asked, "If'n I was to sneak over to
yo' place and make love to yo' wife early in de mornin' while you was off huntin',
and she got pregnant and had a baby, would dat make us kin?"
Billy Bob crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and
squinted his eyes like he was thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he said, "Well, I don' know 'bout kin, but dat would make us even." :D |
|
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| wasjr |
A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband,
"I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
He never heard the shot.... |
|
|
| ROTORRAY |
Senator Hillary Clinton (D, NY) and former Attorney General Janet Reno were having one Of those girl-to-girl talks, and Hillary says to Janet, "You're lucky that you don't have to put up With men having sex with you. I have to put up with Bill, and there is no telling where he was last."
Janet responded, "Just because I am aesthetically challenged (that's "politically correct" for Ugly as a mud fence) does not mean I don't have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances."
Hillary asks, "Well, how do you deal with the problem?"
Janet: "Whenever I feel that a guy is getting ready to make a pass at me, I muster all my might, Tense, and squeeze to break wind as loud and hard as I can."
That night, Bill was already in bed with the lights out when Hillary slips into bed. She could hear him start to stir, and knew that he would be wanting some action. She had been saving gas all day long and was ready for him. She tenses up her butt cheeks And produces the most disgusting audio and olfactory effects you could imagine.
Bill rolls over and says, "Janet, is that you?" |
|
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| drjay |
Twist and Shout
It's the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby's
a pretty hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo. He rings the doorbell,
and Peggy Sue's father answers and invites him in.
"Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" he says.
"That's cool," says Bobby.
Peggy Sue's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do. Bobby replies politely
that they'll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.
Peggy Sue's father responds, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all
of the kids are doing it."
Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby and he says, "Whaaaat?"
"Yeah," says Peggy Sue's father, "Peggy Sue really likes to screw; she'll screw
all night if we let her!"
Bobby's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear as he mentally revises the
night's plans. A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little
poodle skirt with her saddle shoes and announces that she's ready to go.
Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door
while Dad is saying, "Have a good evening, kids."
About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the
house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father: "Dammit, Daddy!
The twist! It's called the twist!!" |
|
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| wasjr |
Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns:
Dear Walter:
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and ad mitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?
Sincerely, Mrs.. Sheila Usk
**************************************************************************
Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
I hope this helps...
Walter |
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| ROTORRAY |
Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Wyoming Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three ofthem and said, 'So y'all want to be cops, huh?'
The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, 'To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities, such as scars and so forth!
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. 'Now,' he said, 'did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?'
The blonde immediately said, 'Yes, I did. He has only one eye! The detective shook his head and said, 'Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed! The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, 'What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?' 'Yes! He only has one ear!'
The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, 'Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!' The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and
said,'This is probably a waste of time, but...' He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, 'All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?'
The blonde said, 'I sure did. This man wears contact lenses.
The detective frowned and took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, 'You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?'
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, 'Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses.' |
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| BaldEagle |
A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving. She tells the man, “Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say, can and will be held against you.”
The drunk replies, “Tits.” |
|
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| drjay |
Truth or Consequences
Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the
pigeons, watch the squirrels, and discuss world problems.
One day Bill didn't show up. Sam wasn't concerned; he thought Bill might
have a cold or some urgent appointment. But after Bill hadn't shown up
for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since Sam didn't know
where Bill lived (the only time they ever got together was at the park) he
was unable to find out what had happened to him.
After a month had passed, Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill. On his
next visit to the park, however, Bill was sitting on their usual bench waiting
for him.
Amazed and delighted, Sam exclaimed, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the
world happened to you?"
Bill replied, "I've been in jail."
"Jail?" cried Sam. "You? What on earth for?"
"Well," Bill said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee
shop where I sometimes go?"
"Yes," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?"
"Well, one day she filed rape charges against me. At 89 years old, I was so
proud that when I got into court, I pleaded guilty."
"The judge gave me 30 days for perjury." |
|
|
| drjay |
Sh!t is a powerful word. Just think of all the concepts and ideas you can communicate
with it. Sh!t may just be the most powerful word in the English language.
Consider this: You can be sh!t faced, be sh!t out of luck, or have sh!t for brains.
With a little effort you can get your sh!t together, find a place for your sh!t, or decide
to sh!t or get off the pot. You can smoke sh!t, buy sh!t, sell sh!t, lose sh!t, find sh!t,
forget sh!t, and tell others to eat sh!t and die. You can sh!t or go blind, have a sh!t fit,
or just sh!t your life away.
People can be sh!t headed, sh!t brained, sh!t blinded, and sh!t over. Some people
know their sh!t while others can't tell the difference between sh!t and shineola.
There are lucky sh!ts, dumb sh!ts, crazy sh!ts, and sweet sh!ts. There is bull sh!t,
and horse sh!t and chicken sh!t. You can throw sh!t, sling sh!t, catch sh!t, or duck
when the sh!t hits the fan. You can take a sh!t, give a sh!t, or serve sh!t on a
shingle. You can find yourself in deep sh!t, or be happier than a pig in sh!t.
Some days are colder than sh!t, some days are hotter than sh!t, and some days
are just plain sh!tty. Some music sounds like sh!t, things can look like sh!t, and there
are times when you feel like sh!t. You can have too much sh!t, not enough sh!t, the
right sh!t, the wrong sh!t, or a lot of weird sh!t. You can carry sh!t, have a mountain
of sh!t, or find yourself up sh!t creek without a paddle.
Sometimes you really need this sh!t and sometimes you don't want any sh!t at all.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to sh!t and other times you swim in a lake
of sh!t and come out smelling like a rose. Sh!t!
When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of creation. And,
remember, once you know your sh!t, you don't need to know anything else.
Now ain’t that some sh!t, acuramdx.org members! :2: |
|
|
| EXCALIBUR |
There are three moms. .
A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.
They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed"
They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her.
Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis." |
|
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| drjay |
Vinnie worked at the Post Office, and it was his job it was to process all
the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in
a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should
open it to see what it was about. The letter read,
Dear God,
I am an 83-year-old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was
all the money I had until my next pension check.
Next Tuesday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends
over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food
with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.
Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
Vinnie was touched. He showed the letter to all the other postal workers.
Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the
time Vinnie had made the rounds, he had collected $96, which he put into
an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and
the Christmas dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All
the workers gathered around while Vinnie opened the letter, which read,
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a beautiful dinner
for my friends. We had a very nice day, and I told my friends of
your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was $4 missing.
I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office.
Sincerely,
Edna
:2: |
|
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| drjay |
| Just in time for Christmas (#1) ... |
|
|
| drjay |
| Just in time for Christmas (#2) ... |
|
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| hammermdx |
| The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed! |
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| BaldEagle |
The Winning Question.
A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money.
And, as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover.
It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it:
A) the condor
B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo
D) the vulture
The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer.
And she was doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. The woman hoped she would not have to use it because her friend was, well--blonde. She had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.
The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo."
The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Merideth any answer except the one that her friend had given her and, considering that her friend was a blonde, that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded.
"I need an answer," said Merideth.
Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."
"Is that your final answer?"
"Yes, that is my final answer."
Two minutes later, Merideth said, "That answer is - absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!"
Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.
"Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant. "How did you happen to know the right answer?"
"Oh, come on," said the blonde...
"Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests they live in clocks." |
|
|
| ROTORRAY |
A guy had an interesting experience recently
involving an "older" woman he met at a bar.
*
She looked pretty darn HOT for 62.
She was drinking quite a bit and,
while they were chatting,
she came right out and asked him
if he'd ever had a "sportsman's double"
- a mother and daughter threesome.
*
He said no, but she might be able to talk him
into it. So she slams back one last drink,
wipes her mouth and, looking directly into
his eyes, says, "Tonight's your lucky night."
*
So they go back to her place, she clicks on the
hall light right as they enter her place, and she
shouts upstairs:
"Mom! You still awake?" |
|
|
| BaldEagle |
A young boy comes down for breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores.
'Not yet,' said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little ticked off so when he feeds the chickens, he kicks a chicken. When he feeds the cows, he kicks a cow.
When he feeds the pigs, he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
'How come I don't get any eggs and bacon, and why don't I have any milk in
my cereal? ' he asks.
'Well,' his mother says, 'I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a
week.
I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either.
I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk.'
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or
should I?" |
|
|
| ROTORRAY |
YOU MAY BE TALIBAN IF..........
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon
"unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat. |
|
|
| wasjr |
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you? "Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."
"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then, I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all." "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you". The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun? "What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell."
A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O.K., but I didn't like the four-letter word the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS "
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit , so I sought my husband's advice. "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one." He 's still in intensive care. |
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| msu79gt82 |
| :eek: Older Women Should NOT Sunbath Nude ... |
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| msu79gt82 |
This ol' gal from Austin, who was a tree hugger and anti-hunter, bought several acres of Hill Country land near Lake Travis. Well, there was this big old tree on one of the highest points on her land and she wanted to view the natural splendor of the Hill Country so she climbed the tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl which promptly attacked her.
In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and in the ensuing fall she incurred some splinters of wood in a very tender place, if you know what I mean. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor, 35 minutes away. She told him she was an environmentalist and anti-hunter and how she came to receive all of the splinters. Well, the doctor listened to her story, and then told her to go into the examining room and he'd see if he could help.
Well, the impatient patient sat, and waited for three hours before the doctor finally came in, so the ol' gal demanded, "What took you so long?" The doctor smiled and said, "Well, I had to get permits from US Environmental Service, the Texas Parks and Wildlife, and Keep Texas Beautiful before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. I'm sorry to tell you this but they turned me down." |
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| ROTORRAY |
I have 4 extra tickets for the
Robbie Knievel event at the Charlotte
Motor Speedway this weekend if
anybody wants them.
He's going to attempt to jump 500
Democrats with a bull-dozer.
You'll want front row seats for this one!! |
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| msu79gt82 |
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading"
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"For reading a book," she replies,
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again,
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading"
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think. |
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| drjay |
The Big Splash
Reverend Boudreaux was the pastor of the Crescent City Baptist Church, and Pastor
Thibodaux was the minister of the Covenant Church of God across the road. They were
both standing by the road, pounding into the ground a sign that read:
"The End is Near! Turn Yourself Around Now! Before It's Too Late!"
As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled, "You religious nuts!"
From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.
Rev. Boudreaux turned to Pastor Thibodaux and asked, "Do ya tink maybe da sign
should jus say ... 'Bridge Out'?" |
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| ROTORRAY |
After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one Day and said, "Honey, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap Car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 21-year-old gal.
Now I have a $500,000 house, $45,000 car, nice big bed and plasma Screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 65-year-old woman.
It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."
My wife is a very reasonable woman.
She told me to go out and find a hot 21-year-old gal, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, Driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch
Black and white TV.
Aren't older women great?
They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis. |
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| midnightMDX |
| :D That was a good one. :2: Actually if its true, maybe not so much. :mad: |
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| msu79gt82 |
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
7. 'Jaw-P?' means 'Did ya'll go to the bathroom?'
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. 'Fixinto' is one word.
10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'
13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'.
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
16. 'No. Jew?' is a common response to the question 'Did you bring any beer?'.
17. You measure distance in minutes.
18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
20. You know what a 'DAWG' is.
21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.
22. You only own five spices: Chili, Cayenne, Jalapeno, Serrano, and Habanero
23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football
24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm'.
26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time know as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World'.
28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather.
29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
30. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.
31. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Texas friends and those who just wish they were from Texas.
:1: |
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| drjay |
AN AMAZING SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY! :D
This is amazing!
Until recently we never fully understood how to tell the difference between
male and female birds. We always thought it had to be determined surgically.
Until now.
Below are two birds. Which of the two birds is a female?
Study them closely ...
See if you can spot which of the two is the female.
It can be done—even by men with limited bird-watching skills. |
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| mdxx3 |
| ^^ I know! I know!!! It's the one that speaks 20,000 words a day!!!! (OTOH, the guy bird has many unused/rollover minutes!!) |
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| msu79gt82 |
A Missouri Department of Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, 'I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road.'
The old farmer said, 'OK, but don't go in that field.'
The Highways employee said, 'I have the authority of the State of Missouri to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land.'
So the old farmer went about his farm chores. Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Department of Highways employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the employee at every step.
The old farmer called out, "Show him your card, Show him your card"!!!! |
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| drjay |
YO' MAMA SO STUPID: MY TOP TEN
#10 – Yo' mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
#9 – Yo' mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.
#8 – Yo' mama so stupid she thought she could buy a Fleetwood Mac at McDonald's.
#7 – Yo' mama so stupid she tried to put M+M's in alphabetical order.
#6 – Yo' mama so stupid she asked you, "What's the number for 911."
#5 – Yo' mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
#4 – Yo' mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
#3 – Yo' mama so stupid she thought a quarterback is a refund.
#2 – Yo' mama so stupid she took an umbrella to see Purple Rain.
#1 – Yo' mama so stupid that when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends. |
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| msu79gt82 |
Sex is like pizza.
When its good, its very good.
When its bad, its still good. |
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| msu79gt82 |
| Sex is like playing Bridge; if you don't have good partner you better have a good hand. |
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| ROTORRAY |
| My wife's been complaining lately that I don't take her out enough so the other day I took her out for cookies and juice. She'd never been a blood donor before..... |
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| EXCALIBUR |
A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I'm so happy with my TV as my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting on the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring so he hurried to open the door.
When he opened the door, there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello son is your grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend." |
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| MDteX |
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair. The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you ... you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"
She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!" Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?" |
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| drjay |
Sunday Morning Sex
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had passed away, Katie went
straight to her grandparents' house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother
and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied,
"He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old
having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
Oh no, my dear, replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced
age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would
start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing
too strenuous, simply, in on the Ding and out on the Dong."
She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive right
now if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
:2: |
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| shootist |
| Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a dumbass. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So Mary called him a ****head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It' s important at our age. |
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| drjay |
A Clean Joke
It's hard to find a joke today without dirty words in it, but here's one:
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree
begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a
son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The birch says he cannot tell.
Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch looks at him and says,
"Hey Woody, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or
a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It's neither a
son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I've
ever put my pecker in! |
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| EXCALIBUR |
A couple just got a new house. The husband turned to his wife and ask her to go to the hardware store and get a door hinge for him. She kindly agreed and left.
When she got to the hardware store, got the hinge, and put it on the counter in front of the clerk. He noticed that she didn't have any screws for it, so he asked her ''Do you want a screw for that hinge?''
She looked back at him and said ''No, but I'll blow you for that toaster in the window.'':yesyes: |
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| wasjr |
'SEX FROGS'
Only $20 each!
Comes with 'complete' instructions.
The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She
whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll TAKE one!'
As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the
instructions!
The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions
and reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is specified:
1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to
do what he has been trained to do.
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . . NOTHING
happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She
re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says,
'If you have any problems or questions . please call the pet store.'
So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within
minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and
says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The frog
just SITS there!'
The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly
into its eyes' and STERNLY says:
'LISTEN TO ME!! I'm only going to show you how to do this ONE MORE
TIME!!!' |
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| EXCALIBUR |
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and says hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"
She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher." |
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| wasjr |
Grandma's letter, she is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.
She writes:
Dear Grand-daughter,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.
So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.
I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,
' For the love of God! '
' Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing.
Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon,
Love, Grandma |
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| midnightMDX |
:2: Nice one guys!
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her.
She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable assh*le!" she screamed.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her." |
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| hammermdx |
SMART ASS ANSWER #6 -- It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John,seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied"
______________________________________________________________________
SMART ASS ANSWER #5 -- A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
______________________________________________________________________
SMART ASS ANSWER #4 -- A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
______________________________________________________________________
SMART ASS ANSWER #3 -- The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
______________________________________________________________________
SMART ASS ANSWER #2 -- A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
______________________________________________________________________
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007 -- A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
______________________________________________________________________
Two bonus extras: A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"
The clerk says, "What denomination?"
The blonde says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.
____________________________________________________________ __________
A woman is standing nude looking in the bed room mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect.
He never heard the shot.... |
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| EXCALIBUR |
An executive was in a quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work. He finally decided that, in the morning, whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go.
Debra came in in the morning, hugely hungover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin.
The executive approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
Debra replied: "Could you jack-off? I have a terrible headache." |
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| hammermdx |
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, than reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"
Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE......The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. |
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| hammermdx |
| Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy The 87 year old said 'Well, I eat Jewish rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies.' So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, 'Do you have any Jewish rye bread?' She said, 'Yes, there's a whole shelf of it . Would you like some?' He said, 'I want 5 loaves. She said, 'My goodness, 5 loaves...by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard' He replied, 'I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this but me.' |
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| hammermdx |
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway."Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!" "I can't jump out the window ~ it’s raining out there!" "If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!" So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. "Do you always run in the nude?" one asked. "Oh yes!" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free!" Another runner moved a long side. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?" Oh, yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home! Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"
Nope.........just when it's raining. |
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| hammermdx |
| A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts choking; going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sip | | | |
